Cheating With Your Friend’s Husband? – Some Advice
You are not doing anything that many other women haven’t done before but that doesn’t make it right what you are doing by any means. There are boundaries in life with all of us and where marriage is concerned for two people they have their boundaries.
First of all, I don’t know how you go on if this is a friend’s husband. I am not sure I would ever do that but then I am not you. I will admit to having an affair myself about 8 years ago but it was someone I met online and didn’t know his family at all. Even at that time I would never have imposed myself in someone else’s marriage if they had small children they were raising. Just something that is important to me. May not mean a thing to someone else and some might say if you do it at all why does it matter about the children but that “was” just my take on things. I can tell you that the affair I was in ended due to him having some very personal issues that came out. Actually with time I was glad that something came up to end it all. I was coasting like you thinking how much I liked our get togethers but there really wasn’t that much to them in reality only that I did travel to some places to meet him while he was away on business. After being in it for about 9 months I began to realize that he was going to stay put where he was (in his marriage) and he was willing to carry on the affair but I was having a real hard time accepting that! I also found it really hard to get out of because I really ended up having feelings for him. I think it was two ways but it was only our secret.
I believe women or even men who get themselves in these sort of issues have some huge issues of their own. Mine was trust. I to this day am still trying to rebuild my world to where I can trust others. With a married man I didn’t have to trust as much as a regular relationship. When you are ready and if you stay in this long enough there will come a time when you either want more or want to get out.
The fact is you are deceiving a friend. So she is beautiful and maybe you even feel a little jealous? You know I will tell you from my own experience because to this day – 22 years later I am still trying to repair the damage in my own life that occurred because of jealousy being the root cause. I truly think it is one of the most evilest emotions known to man. I know the bible talks some about it. I don’t have the quotations about it but I could always find some.
I can tell you that if you stay in this relationship and at the end he chooses his wife and not you will know no greater pain. You will feel shame too for trying to get a man who was married to another. Your self-esteem will hit rock bottom. This I am not kidding you about. All these things happened to me. It took me almost 2 years to get over this relationship. I believe the relationship itself was about 3-1/2 to 4 years. I had other issues that still needed to be dealt with and this only caused things to take that much longer for me.
In all seriousness this is your friend. What type of person are you to do something like this to her? Can you imagine how she will feel if she ever finds this out? I hope you are aware now that you may lose both of them. Can you imagine how you will feel then? Maybe right now you are not in that deep but I promise you if you do stay in this it will be one of the biggest regrets of your life. In your case for more than one reason.
Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what sort of person are you right now? What are you contributing to mankind? Right now you are a liar to yourself and this man. You lack self-esteem big time if you have to try and date a married man. At least I feel I had a reason for my weakness to have done such a thing but I guess yours could be that you haven’t had a date in over a year so that should give you permission to sleep with your friends husband. How very sad.
Do yourself a favor and get out of this relationship. Find yourself a man who is not married and not your friends husband.